maddie jane

: : : geek diaries : : :

welcome... this is bolander.net, a collection of musings, random thoughts, some pictures of me and my friends, and lots of my daughter, maddie, some links to favorite places on the 'net, and various sundry other things. have a look around, you might find something useful, or even interesting.

there isn't any rhyme or reason, this is a place for me to vent, post thoughts, comment on the mundane, quote verse, and sometimes share the very rare flashes of sheer, unadulterated genius. they can happen to anyone, even me.

: : : i'm a geek, get over it : : :

this site, and all pages, images, and content herein are (c) brian j. bolander. you may not link to nor use any image or content without prior written permission.
: : :   the archives   : : :



. . . the boy with the thorn in his side

it was a beautiful morning


the boy with the thorn in his side
behind the hatred there lies
a murderous desire for love

how can they look into my eyes
and still they don't believe me
how can they hear me say those words
and still they don't believe me
and if they don't believe me now
will they ever believe me?
and if they don't believe me now
will they ever believe me?

the boy with the thorn in his side
behind the hatred there lies
a plundering desire for love

how can they see the love in our eyes
and still they don't believe us
and after all this time
they don't want to believe us
and if they don't believe us now
will they ever believe us?

and when you want to live
how do you start?
where do you go?
who do you know?

"the boy with the thorn in his side", the smiths, 1985




. . . sword saint

...if you just wield the long sword in a strong spirit your cutting will become coarse, and if you use the sword coarsely you will have difficulty in winning...

shrike on a dead branch


...whenever you cross swords with an enemy you must not think of cutting him either strongly or weakly; just think of cutting and killing him. be intent solely on killing the enemy. do not try to cut strongly and, of course, do not think of cutting weakly. you should only be concerned with killing the enemy...

excerpted from go rin no sho, by shinmen musashi no kami fujiwara no genshin (miyamoto musashi)




. . . ex oblivione

when the last days were upon me, and the ugly trifles of existence began to drive me to madness like the small drops of water that torturers let fall ceaselessly upon one spot of their victims body, i loved the irradiate refuge of sleep. in my dreams i found a little of the beauty i had vainly sought in life, and wandered through old gardens and enchanted woods.

once when the wind was soft and scented i heard the south calling, and sailed endlessly and languorously under strange stars.

once when the gentle rain fell i glided in a barge down a sunless stream under the earth till i reached another world of purple twilight, iridescent arbours, and undying roses.

and once i walked through a golden valley that led to shadowy groves and ruins, and ended in a mighty wall green with antique vines, and pierced by a little gate of bronze.

many times i walked through that valley, and longer and longer would i pause in the spectral half-light where the giant trees squirmed and twisted grotesquely, and the grey ground stretched damply from trunk to trunk, some times disclosing the mould-stained stones of buried temples. and alway the goal of my fancies was the mighty vine-grown wall with the little gate of bronze therein.

after a while, as the days of waking became less and less bearable from their greyness and sameness, i would often drift in opiate peace through the valley and the shadowy groves, and wonder how i might seize them for my eternal dwelling-place, so that i need no more crawl back to a dull world stript of interest and new colours. and as i looked upon the little gate in the mighty wall, i felt that beyond it lay a dream-country from which, once it was entered, there would be no return.

so each night in sleep i strove to find the hidden latch of the gate in the ivied antique wall, though it was exceedingly well hidden. and i would tell myself that the realm beyond the wall was not more lasting merely, but more lovely and radiant as well.

then one night in the dream-city of Zakarion i found a yellowed papyrus filled with the thoughts of dream-sages who dwelt of old in that city, and who were too wise ever to be born in the waking world. therein were written many things concerning the world of dream, and among them was lore of a golden valley and a sacred grove with temples, and a high wall pierced by a little bronze gate. when i saw this lore, i knew that it touched on the scenes i had haunted, and i therefore read long in the yellowed papyrus.

some of the dream-sages wrote gorgeously of the wonders beyond the irrepassable gate, but others told of horror and disappointment. i knew not which to believe, yet longed more and more to cross for ever into the unknown land; for doubt and secrecy are the lure of lures, and no new horror can be more terrible than the daily torture of the commonplace. so when i learned of the drug which would unlock the gate and drive me through, i resolved to take it when next i awaked.

last night i swallowed the drug and floated dreamily into the golden valley and the shadowy groves; and when i came this time to the antique wall, i saw that the small gate of bronze was ajar. from beyond came a glow that weirdly lit the giant twisted trees and the tops of the buried temples, and i drifted on songfully, expectant of the glories of the land from whence i should never return.

but as the gate swung wider and the sorcery of the drug and the dream pushed me through, i knew that all sights and glories were at an end; for in that new realm was neither land nor sea, but only the white void of unpeopled and illimitable space. so, happier than i had ever dared hope to be, i dissolved again into that native infinity of crystal oblivion from which the daemon life had called me for one brief and desolate hour.

by h. p. lovecraft, published march 1921 in "the united amateur, vol. 20, no. 4, p. 59-60.




. . . the moz

moz


those familiar with my musical tastes know i'm a huge morrissey fan. the smiths saved my life more than once a long, long time ago - a time ridden with teenage angst and logy insensibility, distorted by emotions that i had no idea how to cope with. they helped.

well, the man has a few new tracks out (bootlegs of course) that absolutely rule. rule, i tell you. "the first of the gang to die" is especially good.

i haven't seen him play live since 1994.

makes me glad i have tickets.




. . . local perl halfwit agents_4_peace

...helps solve xhtml compliance issue - i was looking for a way to fix the code, and a4p from the forum helped me out on the dc++ hub. his suggestion led me to a solution.

thanks mang!!!




. . . i'm worn out

i recoded all the archive pages - by hand. i'm very, very tired right now. my eyes hurt. but i do hereby claim xhtml 1.0 strict compliance!

well, at least mostly - coranto doesn't do {br /} tags. i've got a post in at the forum, we'll see how that pans out.

'nite.




. . . you knew i'd do it

and it's done. xhtml strict 1.0 compliance. i'm going to bed.




. . . finally done

the recoding for css layout(s) is finally complete - it all works in both ie and mozilla. i could care less about opera. that said, this is quite a milestone for me - and quite a challenge.

i had to do some serious coding. i'm not very good at that, so i stretched my mind a bit. my head still hurts, but i managed to figure out the problems with the code on my own - w00t! it was improperly nested div tags, bad css formatting, a few spacers in the wrong place, and a whole bunch of other crap. betcha you wanted to know all that, eh?

a fellow arsian suggested that i clean up my code, and at first, i resisted. then another arsian told me that my code was "ugly", and that forced me into action - i might not be very good at writing code, or scripts, or what-have-you, but when i do, i want it to be right and dare i say it? pretty.

zelmak will pipe in sometime via e-mail and tell me that i'm a lamer. brother, i respect your l33t perl skillz, and acknowledge you to be the master, but this one, i'm very proud of. =o)

anyhow, this is turning into a bloody novel, and my sweet baby is sound asleep - i think i'll go look at the perfect little girl that god has blessed me with. 'nite.




. . . the gospel of bo

In the beginning, there was DOMAIN/Travis. All the users and computers were in Travis and of Travis, and all was well.

Whereupon finding this happy state, the Beast of the Great Satan known as AMC then descended upon the brave souls from the realm of Network Control Center, and cruelly divided DOMAIN/Travis. A great wailing arose from the users; some were stranded, and some were orphaned; there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth. The once happy land of DOMAIN/Travis was wrought with strife.

The Network Control Center called two prophets, both brave and noble souls, Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert, to go unto the Great Beast of Satan called AMC, and give unto her battle, in order restore peace and harmony to that which was divided, and to return to their mother's bosom those that were orphaned by the evil deeds of the Great Beast of Satan called AMC.

But behold, the Computer Systems Managers were a proud and stiff-necked people, unschooled in the holy writ of the Network Control Center. Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert preached the holy writ of the Network Control Center to the Computer Systems Managers, but their pride and ignorance, yea, even their mulish stiff-neckedness, blinded their eyes and deafened their ears to the teachings of Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert, and they would not repent their evil ways.

The land of DOMAIN/Travis was awash with the blood of the innocent users.

And it came to pass that after much deliberating, Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert raised their voices unto the Great Hyena. After many days and nights of prayerful supplication, the Great Hyena revealed to them those innocents that were divided, and those that were orphaned. The prophets had found the path of enlightenment. There was much rejoicing. But because the Computer Systems Managers were a prideful and wicked people, the two prophets did not go unto the land of DOMAIN\Travis to share this joy, and to warn this people of the impending battle.

And lo, the great and dreadful day of reckoning had come. Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert girded up their loins, strapped on their armor, and took up their swords. They descended upon the land of DOMAIN\Travis, and rose up in battle against the minions of the Great Beast of Satan called AMC.

Bo-seth looked upon the field of valor, and said it was good. Howard son of Robert also looked, and said it was good. The two prophets again called upon the Great Hyena, and then the mouse clicked upon the Great Hyena's context menu of wisdom. The deletion was complete.

And it came to pass, that in the next two hours, a heretofore unseen and unknown power unleashed it's wrath upon the Network Control Center. And it's name was FoulUp. A great deluge descended upon Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert, and an awful flood fell upon the Network Control Center.

The Computer Systems Managers awoke from their slumber, saw what had transpired, and great was their anger with Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert. They cried unto their evil gods, Great and Powerful OG, the Terrible and Narsty LG, and the elder gods from a world unknown, the Great Wing-ed Ones.

The Computer Systems Managers rose up against the prophets, and armed with the flaming swords of self-righteousness, fell upon Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert.

And Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert were much afraid.

Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert turned to the holy writ, and consulted the Great Hyena. And behold, in that terrible hour, it was revealed that the Great Hyena had deceived them, and it was revealed unto them that those which the Great Hyena had identified as being orphaned were now exiled, cast out of the land of DOMAIN\Travis.

And Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert cried "Oh Crap!", and then they wept.

Behold, then did the two prophets Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert did beseech ADIC Tape Library, crying unto it to restore to DOMAIN\Travis that which had been lost. But alas, ADIC Tape Library could not help them. And Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert cried "Oh Darn!", and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. And thus ended the first day of great and dreadful day of reckoning.

Behold, on second day of the great and dreadful reckoning, Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert swallowed their pride, and implored Microsoft Tech Support to grant unto them wisdom.

But there was none, and the flood continued.

It was at this time that the Great and Powerful OG's leader fell upon the Lt Col Lyon, and began to rend her most horrifically. Again, Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert cried unto the ADIC Tape Library. Again their pleas were unanswered. It was at this most dark and dreary moment that Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert decided to return to the field of valor and restore that which was lost by the strength of their backs and their faith in the holy writ of the Network Control Center.

Mightily did they struggle with the ADIC Tape Library, the DOMAIN\Travis controllers, the ancient and evil Windows NT Advanced Server, and the Demon Lord of Compaq RAID drivers. And it came to pass, that after this titanic struggle, Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert repaired the DOMAIN\Travis controllers, restoring the Most Sacred Pre-Deletion SAM.

The deluge ceased, the flood abated, and the waters subsided. Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert did then prudently send forth a dove unto Maj Jones, who placed an olive branch in it's beak and returned it to the Network Control Center.

And it came to pass that Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert did breath a mighty sigh of relief. The journey though the Valley of the Shadow of Demotion was finished, and they still had most of their asses. The Great and Powerful OG, the Terrible and Narsty LG, and the Great Wing-ed Ones' bellies were all filled with the meat of "workee", and drunk upon the sweet wine of "brokee no workee no more". The prophets had avoided a terrible fate, that of manual recreation. All was good again in the land of DOMAIN\Travis, and the orphans were returned unto the fold. And thus ended the second day of great and dreadful day of reckoning.

On the third day, did Bo-seth and Howard son of Robert did sacrifice many virgins upon the alter of FoulUp, and after the sacrificing was done, and ass-intactness checking was complete, they did march triumphantly forth from the Valley of the Shadow of Demotion, to claim the their reward, the Dunce Cap Crown of the Network Control Center.

And none shall take it from them.

Ever.




. . . css layout???

well, i've finally gotten the site to where it needs to be, and the "can't leave well enough alone" bug has bitten me. hard. i'm going to try for css layout over the next few weeks, perhaps i'll have to buy a book or two - might as well do xhtml 1.0 strict while i'm at it, eh?




. . . done, and done!

finally. looks like the bugs are all worked out - if you find something, let me know by clicking tGo under this post.




. . . recoding in progress

so, i've begun to use coranto to update the page - blogger wasn't cutting it. the page might go up and down for a bit, as i get all my ducks in a row. also, there is a new 404 error page...teh funny!




. . . lorem ipsum

lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetaur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium doloremque laudantium, totam rem aperiam, eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi architecto beatae vitae dicta sunt explicabo. nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia voluptas sit aspernatur aut odit aut fugit, sed quia consequuntur magni dolores eos qui ratione voluptatem sequi nesciunt. neque porro quisquam est, qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit, sed quia non numquam eius modi tempora incidunt ut labore et dolore magnam aliquam quaerat voluptatem. ut enim ad minima veniam, quis nostrum exercitationem ullam corporis suscipit laboriosam, nisi ut aliquid ex ea commodi consequatur? quis autem vel eum iure reprehenderit qui in ea voluptate velit esse quam nihil molestiae consequatur, vel illum qui dolorem eum fugiat quo voluptas nulla pariatur?




. . . welcome to the world

eliza susanne


eliza susanne, welcome to the world.




. . . new arrival

my sister jenny and her husband matthew are the proud parents of a baby girl, eliza susanne, a whopping seven pounds, thirteen ounces, nineteen and a half inches long. with about an inch of dark brown hair. she was born saturday night, and baby and momma are doing well...this is my parents fourth grandchild, and my third niece/nephew. i guess this means that i'm grown up now...mom is leaving for utah tomorrow, and they've promised me pictures. more when they arrive...




powered by coranto